ANY DAY NOW…

Posted on July 31, 2007

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any day now…
i will lose my mother, my confidant, my best friend.

any day now…
silly monkey will lose his halmeoni, his grandmother, his “hunny bunny”.

any day now…
my family will lose a wonderful and courageous member.

any day now…
the world will lose one of the bravest women it will ever know.

any day now…
my mother will join my grandfather.

she hasn’t eaten in a week. she hasn’t drank more than a few sips of water in a week. she hasn’t taken her meds in 24 hours, some for over 2 days. her heart is working overtime. her breathing has slowed.

today, she all but said her goodbyes. but i will NEVER say goodbye.

her hospice nurses said she is in her last days. a week at best, if we’re lucky. AND WE ARE!

i have had a precious 27 years with my mommy. it will never be enough, but somehow, that’s OK. she was by my side when i got married. by my side when i lost my baby. by my side when i was pregnant with silly monkey. and by my side when silly monkey arrived. silly monkey had an amazing year with his halmeoni. he has a bond with her that will never be broken.

the sound of her voice and her laugh have all but faded, though i will NEVER forget. I WILL NEVER FORGET. and neither will silly monkey.

there will be no service. there will be no memorial. this is what she wants. to go peacefully and quietly.

she did all that she could and more. she did all she did for her babies – she fought for us, she lived for us.

i love my mom. i will always love my mom.

today, she told me i was a good mother. and i am a good mother, because my mom is a good mom. a fabulous mom. everything i have ever learned about unconditional love, i learned from her. it is a gift that i will cherish forever. and in time, i will learn to breathe.

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Posted in: family stuff