Posted on March 26, 2008


if you look back into the archives of this blog you will notice that almost nothing has been deleted or edited.  still here are posts from a week before “m” left – which, until that point i was still blogging about how things were going to be different and better.  it still houses info about our first anniversary trip, our second anniversary dinner and our trip to reno to “checkitout” (thank god we didn’t go).  and why, you ask?  let me explain…

this is a chronicle of my life – good, bad, great, crappy.  no matter what happens, everything in the past did happen and it can’t be changed no matter how much i wish on stars and knock on wood.  i will never regret anything i have ever done b/c all of those things have made me who i am – an intelligent, independant woman (who, on occasion, resorts back to moron behaviors).  regret just brings hurt and hurt just brings disappointment and disappointment just brings blame… and quite frankly, i’m friggin’ tired of feeling hurt, disappointed and blamed.  i am a good person, dammit!

perhaps most of those postings were wishful thoughts intermingled in a time of sadness.  though intermingled with that sadness were some of the most amazing moments i have ever experienced – silly monkey‘s first words and my mom’s undying love.

in my current situation, those posts have helped me understand why i let all of this happen and how i could have been so blind.

it’s not about what’s there, it’s about what’s missing.

Posted in: forgotten stuff