IKEASPEAK – BLAH, BLAH, BLAH…

Posted on March 30, 2008

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joshua & i headed down to cincinnati to check out the new ikea. i know, right? seriously.

the drive is one boring nearly 2 hour trip through nothing but burnt grass, run down barns, a few cows and a ton of roadkill (even squirrels!). once we hit west chester, we saw a HUGE ikea sign from the highway. we grabbed lunch, then made our way to park…

and parking was a mess! it took 3 turns at the light just to get into the ikea parking lot. then, the “parking attendant” directed me to “stop”, then immediately told me to “go right”, then in an instant yelled “just hit me”. so yea, when i referred to the moron as “parking attendant”, i use the term quite loosely.

we spent about 2 hours perusing the show room, picking out lamps and beds and dressers (oh my) and about an hour in the warehouse grabbing what we wanted, only to spend what seemed like 4 hours in line to check out. and then, we went on our merry way…

or so we thought. we get onto the highway to head home & i realized something. the mammut was supposed to have 3 packages, but when grabbing it from the shelf, it was marked 1/2 and 2/2 – thus meaning that there were only 2 packages, but were there really supposed to be 3? at that point, we started digging into the cardboard and styrofoam only to have our suspicions confirmed – no bed slats. we turned around…

after parking a mile way and instead of trying to figure out where those slats would be, i asked an “ikea expert” (old man in yellow & blue shirt)…

me – hi, where can i find the bed slats for the mammut bed?
expert – the what? the bed?
me – um, no, the bed slats… the slats for the mammut bed, a children’s bed.
expert – hemnes?
me – no, mammut.
expert – what is mammut? oh wait, here we go. 2 packages.
me – the slats are not in the boxes with the bed frame. so….
expert – what are slats?

another worker comes over…

expert #2 – there are 2 boxes for mammut, they are packaged together.
me – ok, no. they are not in the 2 boxes, the slats are packaged separately.
expert #2 – blahblahblahblahblah
expert #1 – blahblahblah

so… after about 10 minutes, i found the bed slats. oh & by the way, when i say “ikea expert”, i use that term loosely as well.

and all in the world was right last evening… silly monkey slept in a new big-boy bed and i broke a drawer to his new dresser. i say we just call it even.

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Posted in: forgotten stuff