THE MINE LIST…

Posted on June 1, 2008

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someone recently asked me what i look for in a “significant other”, to which i replied “i’m not really looking for a significant anything, aside from a raise.” but, after thinking a bit about it, i’ve decided what i want (aside from the typical don’t take me for granted or disrespect me blah, blah, blah) …

* obviously, someone attractive… er, someone i’m very attracted to (better put). he has to be well dressed, well groomed and well mannered. if there is no attraction, i don’t see how there could be passion. i don’t want to be sitting next to my “boyfriend” thinking, “gah, you’re ugly”.

* he has to put the groceries away, after i do the shopping, including bringing them all into the house, unpacking them, and stuffing the bags into the holder (he also has to shut & lock the car doors). he has to do this without complaining and without expecting a reward.

* ideal boy has to like my family. he doesn’t have to LOVE them, but being social & civil & nice is sufficient. calling my sis a bitch or my bro a brat… those won’t ever sit well, especially if he’s both of those.

* perfect man has to take my car to be washed and detailed after i drive it 1500 miles. even better, he can wash it in my driveway with his shirt off.

* almost flawless fellow should sit with me when i watch “so you think you can dance” and “the hills”, without commenting every few seconds about 1) how fake it is, 2) how stupid it is, 3) how boring it is or 4) how i should wear “those” outfits.

* impeccable gent will never lie or cheat (aside from the “no, you totally look skinny in those pants” comments that are certain to make me feel better even knowing he is lying). i will not date a coward.

* model bloke will be intelligent, well educated and humorous. he must balance the three and not be an arrogant ass.

* fabulous guy will want to meet me for lunch when he has a day off. he will not tell me that he doesn’t like driving downtown and that he will just see me at home. (oh. did that sound bitter?)

and last, but certainly not least…

* my future significant other will absolutely ADORE silly monkey. he will also understand that we’re a package deal and will ALWAYS be a package deal. and if he’s lucky enough to meet silly monkey, he must be pretty special to me, so he should be sure not to blow it.

i guess, needless to day, no, i’m not technically dating anyone these days. it’s been nice to get out, meet new interesting people (no more bars, please) and be a social being again. i’m not pushing anything that’s going on yesterday or today. if i like who i’m with, i’ll be sure not to waste time by hiding it. oh, crap, i think i have a call to make…

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