Posted on June 16, 2008


yes, yes, yes.  it did actually happen.

i had been in labor for about 8 hours before i caved and got the epidural.  i didn’t want drugs, unless i wanted them – at which point, i would ask for them.  so i waited… and waited… and got yelled at – “shut up” “quit whining” “stop, i’m trying to sleep” – all for birthing. 

i probably could have held on longer, or who knows, forgone the epidural altogether, but something about being yelled at during labor for being “too loud” really upset me.  i mean, seriously, it doesn’t really hurt, right? 

and in the name of saving all of those relationships yet to be ruined by men with sensitivity chips missing, here are my don’ts (aside from the above) for comforting your pregnant, about to deliver, significant other (and trust me, we’re SO SO SO majorly significant at this point)…

1.  don’t bring food or drinks back to the room.  the pregnant lady can’t eat or drink, so if you bring her favorite beverage back and announce you just ate a giant foot long sub, be prepared to wear the root beer. 

2.  don’t ask her to share her popsicles.  they are her sustinence, not your dessert.  and didn’t you just have a massive sandwich?  and a root beer!!!?

3.  don’t tell her how big her contractions are.  she already knows. 

4.  don’t tell her she looks sweaty.  or get mad when she says “no crap, genius boy”.

5.  don’t challenge her to a baby weight losing contest. 

of course there are more .  but these are the only ones i remember actually happening to me. 

and yes…

all the signs.  i know.  i know.

ps. please don’t take photos of the birth and then hand them out, unedited, to family & friends.  no one EVER needs to see that.  EVER.