THE 7 THINGS I HATE ABOUT…

Posted on November 4, 2008

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i’m generally a pretty easy going super lovable fun person.  however, there are a few things i just cannot stand.  i hate them.  and i don’t hate much…

1.  working out.  i hate it.  it doesn’t give me a boost of OH I FEEL SO GREAT!  it gives me a boost of GRRR, I FEEL LIKE CRAP I NEED A SHOWER.  i know it has to be done and i’ll do it for that reason and that reason only.  b/c i hate it.  I HATE WORKING OUT. 

(though, when i was kickboxing and training with a super yummy trainer, it was less of a chore and more of a fun activity.  i can run after monkey through the park and around town and enjoy it, but something about the gym just creeps me out – it’s not a fun activity, it’s just… i hate it.)

2.  one-uppers.  ugh.  i can’t stand them.  and you know who i’m talking about (and if you don’t, you probably are one)

i got a new lexus. 
oh, yea?  i got a porsche with a side of mercedes!

i got a raise.
me, too!  except i got more $$ than you’ll ever get in your pathetic lifetime!

and even when it’s not a positive item to brag about, they still try to one-up.  get real, get a life b/c next time, i might scratch your eyes out.

3.  beets.  my mom LOVED them.  she’d eat them right out of the can.  i can’t even be around when a can is opened.  they smell raunchy and i can’t even imagine how awful they taste.  and yes, i hate them and i’ve never even tried them.  the same goes for bacon.  though i’ve actually tasted it and yep, i totally hate it – the taste, the smell, the look, the feel, the thought of where it comes from (i’d throw meat in general in there but i can do a very infrequent steak or some occasional chicken, that’s about it).  no go on the bacon.

4.  cold weather.  i’m not talking brisk or chilly.  i’m talking ice on the ground and wind that will knock you over.  i’m talking frozen nose and frozen boogers.  i’m talking don’t walk outside with wet hair b/c it will immediately turn to icicles.  i’m talking uncontrollable shaking b/c its so damn cold.  i’m talking can’t catch your breath b/c its so damn cold.  i hate the cold.  and i hate the snow after the first 5 minute pretty flurry of flakes, but i think we established that already. 

5.  liars.  aside from the – “oh, no, you look fab in those pants” white lie, all others are bad bad bad bad bad.

6.  cheaters.  yea.  cheaters.

7.  teenagers talking like adults.  i don’t mean using a large vocabulary or swearing, i’m talking – “Do me a favor? If I get like this again, and I’m sure I will before this adolescent growth process is over… Next time just chain me to my bed and wait for my moment of clarity to come.” (ala dawson from dawson’s creek – though, just to make it clear, i was actually a fan of that show for many years and still retain a bit of giddiness when i catch a rare rerun) loose translation:  i totally got caught with my pants down – talk.  kids do NOT talk like that.  they just don’t.  or at least i didn’t when i was 15.  then again, i didn’t look like 15 year girls look now. 

i’m sure i could add bees and bugs and humidity and weirdly short bangs, but i said 7, so there… 7.

** post title – OMG, i totally sorta kinda quoted miley cyrus – oh, help me now.

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