TO RELIVE IT WOULD BRING ME ALL THE JOY IN THE WORLD…

Posted on November 5, 2008

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i was actually, officially OMG look i’m important tagged by exmi at a bad mommy blog, in the ‘4×4 meme‘. the rules, should i choose to follow (which is rarely) are:

1. go to your pictures file
2. go to the 4th file
3. go to the 4th picture
4. post it and tell the story
5. tag 4 more people

 so, i went to my photos (not technically a file, but an album off of my shutterfly site) and opened my 4th album and then to the 4th photo…

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4th “file”, 4th “photo”

and whoa nelly!  yea, that’s right!  a gigantor pregnancy “belly” photo – except that M didn’t get the whole point of “just belly” and took my whole damn whale body.  but, hey, i’m actually smiling (or faking a good one)

if you knew me when i was pregnant, you know i was pretty miserable.  not miserable about the baby of course b/c OMG if i didn’t want THIS baby, i did not want to BREATHE! 

i got pregnant with baby monkey about 3 months after losing baby #1.  i was ecstatic, but extremely cautious.  i cut out everything (except donuts and cookies, until the doc cut me off), including:  tylenol, allergy meds and salicylic acid.  instead, i took up: naps, tissues and acne.  was it worth it?  ask me after silly monkey turns 4.  ok, so kidding – of course, it was!

here, i’m about 37 weeks pregnant.  these are the last of the belly photos being that i birthed baby monkey about a week later. 

if you can’t tell, i’m a pretty short gal.  i’m barely taller than where they installed that there thermostat thingy.  my short stature, accompanied by sciatica, gestational diabetes, adult acne, severe nausea and vomiting, edema and one major 38 week long headache made it impossible for me to enjoy my pregnancy.  i spent nearly 6 months attached to whatever toilet called my name (and sometimes a trash can or a sink) and with a heating pad under my boobs to relieve the kicking (literally) pain in my ribs. 

BUT… i was ridiculously happy.  everything aside, the moment baby monkey was born, i forgot about it all, including the excrutiating 8 hours i spent without the epidural and the additional 9 hours i spent with the epidural placed too low.  b/c i got this…4-11

(this is the 4th photo in the real “good and full” album.  the technically “real” album only had 5 photos, so it thought it was only fair to add another.)

he’s the greatest gift i’ve ever received (including any coach item currently in my closet).  those who say that being a mommy is rewarding are full of caca.  mommyhood is full of giving and more giving and more giving.  but what little taking i do is worth more than every laugh i’ve ever had.  and sharing that with my mother, for the way too short 4 months she had with monkey (before she got sick), is worth more than every breath i’ve ever taken.

i could go on and on about how happy it would make me to relive the whole uncomfortable experience over again just to have another very first meeting moment, but it makes my non-functioning ovaries hurt.  so…

that’s that.

i tag no one b/c i know no one who actually blogs (have i complained about this before?) and think it might be a bit weird and stalkerish to just tag someone – like, hey, i don’t know you but i lurk on your blog so play games with me dammit!  that said, thanks exmi, that was super fun.

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