TIME PRESENT & TIME PAST ARE BOTH PERHAPS PRESENT IN TIME FUTURE, AND TIME FUTURE CONTAINED IN TIME PAST. IF ALL TIME IS ETERNALLY PRESENT, ALL TIME IS UNREDEEMABLE…

Posted on January 7, 2009

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one long exhausting year, 2008, was. 

most of it was filled with laughter and togetherness, but some was marred by separation, anxiety and sadness.  i suppose its all part of life. one of these years, it WILL be my year.  a year of all happiness and togetherness. 

i could never ask for more than i already have:  a wonderfully supportive family (for the most part), an amazingly gifted and adorable child, a few fabulously fabulous friends, a comfy home, a great job, and more time than could fill a galaxy (though the time not necessarily free).

so, here goes.  the full year in review…

what did you do in 2007 that you’ve never done before?
i took on a divorce, took it back, took it on, took it back and now, going into the new year, i’m taking it on again.  and i’ll never do either ever again.  i am saying never.  don’t tell me to never say never.  never. 

did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
i don’t make resolutions.  i believe that you should make changes in yourself b/c you want to and are ready to, not just b/c you have to buy a new calendar.  that, and i’m not ready to give up on anything i haven’t already given up on.

did you give birth?
sadly, no.  and i won’t next year.  or the year after.  or the year after that.  i think about it a lot.  and while i contain my jealously for several old friends who found themselves either doing so or about to do so as the year ended, i can’t help but feel envious of their functional ovaries.  or their happy marriages.

did anyone close to you die?
aside from a little bit of myself, no.  i’ve had enough loss in the past few years.  this year, i asked it to leave.

what countries did you visit?
i did not visit outside the US.  i would love to at some point, but the thought of a screechy toddler on a plane for THAT long just gives me the heebie jeebies. (and no, i cannot imagine traveling the world without him.)

what would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007? 
i have everything i need and am working on the things i want.  inner strength would be nice.  and a svelte figure.  yea, lets go with that. 

what events from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? 
silly monkey’s 2nd birthday.  he turned two.  TWO!  the rest of the year was slightly more than a blur.

what’s your biggest achievement of the year? 
dropping two hundred twenty pounds.  it sure feels good to be low fat.  looks pretty good, too.

what was your biggest failure?
i could would should say my marriage, but though it wasn’t a successful marriage, perhaps it will be a successful divorce.  i’d hate for silly monkey to see his parents like i saw mine – completely separate entities.

did you suffer illness or injury? 
per usual – bronchitis, as well as several JEEZYOU’REACLUTZ falls.  nothing broken, but plenty of bruises.

what’s the best thing you bought? 
paint.  the house looks fantastic! 

whose behavior merited celebration? 
mine.  i’ve learned not only to like who i am, but love who i’ve become.  yay me!  
 
whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? 
no one made me depressed.  no one can MAKE me feel anything.  his behaviors were appalling, but i’ve let him go so…

where did most of your money go? 
bills.  furniture.  paint.  where it should go. 
 
what did you get really, really excited about? 
the firehouse visit.  will not elaborate.

what song will always remind you of 2008? 
the way i are – timberland & keri hilson

compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder? richer or poorer? thinner or fatter?
happy, poor and thinner.  like i said, most of 2008 was awesome.  most.

what do you wish you’d done more of? 
pilates.  definitely, pilates.  and walking at blacklick.  we got started late and it got cold early.  i’ll be doing much much more when spring weather arrives.

what do you wish you’d done less of? 
believing the unbelievable.  then questioning why a smart gal would be so foolish.  and moping. 

how did you spend Christmas?
keeping silly monkey from opening gifts early (i called it drive by opening), playing with silly monkey, opening gifts with silly monkey & my bro & sis, cooking, baking (and not burning!), relaxing, loving, laughing.

did you fall in love in 2008? 
no.  not in.

what was your favorite TV program? 
dexter.  who knew michael c. hall could be so sexy?  and who knew that sympathizing with his obviously flawed character could be so… OK?  scary.

do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? 
i hate no one.  i dislike a few, but i have no hate in my heart.  none.

what was the best book you read?
trains, cranes & troublesome trucks.  i read it to silly monkey twice everyday for nearly 5 months.  we both have it memorized… “thomas must go slow, slow, slow.  the troublesome trucks want to go, go, go.  thomas peeps no, no, no!” 

what was your greatest musical discovery?
missy higgins.  that woman has some ridiculous talent, not to mention an amazingly soothing voice.  i listened to “where i stood”, “sugarcane”, and “warm whispers” on repeat, for months!

what did you want and get? 
myself allowing me to be myself.

what did you want and not get? 
answers.

what was your favorite film of this year? 
sex and the city.  i felt invested in those 4 girls.  and marley & me – just a fantastic tear-fest.  loved it.

what did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? 
i turned 29.  the same age my mom was when i was born.  i really, really missed her that day and spent most of it crying.  but my dad was in town and he took to me, along with my grandmother & brother, to my favorite restaurant – molly woo’s.  it definitely helped with the sadness.  and was delicious.

what one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
having my mom to share it with.  it’s an impossible dream, but one nonetheless.
 
how would you describe your personal fashion concept for 2008? 
simple, classic and covered in cat hair.

what kept you sane? 
silly monkey.  hard to believe that a toddler who tests me every moment of every day could keep me sane, but it did wonders with de-stressing.  his innocence really made me understand that a better me means a better him, no matter who else is around.  (or not around.)

what celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? 
i’ll always have a soft spot for simon baker.  even if i’ve never watched his new show.

what political issue stirred you the most? 
not so much a political issue, but the whole racism/voting issue really irked me.  especially the aftermath.  and the words spoken and written by those i believed were friends.  perhaps they forgot that i am a minority, even if i do speak english.  or perhaps they don’t care.  i can only reiterate that we are not our name – no matter how strange that name may seem.

who did you miss? 
my mom.  i always miss my mom.  i will always my mom.

who was the best new person you met? 
cred to erika.  she’s such a great gal.  just a month after i met her, she sent flowers to my doorstep on the first anniversary of my mom’s death.  simply amazing.  the girl has such a big heart. 

what is a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008?
“hold your own.  know your name.  go your own way.” (jason mraz- though i couldn’t have said it better myself.) (and i wish i would have heard it months before i did.)

**  post title = ts eliot, in the four quartets

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