29…

Posted on July 9, 2009

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this is a big year for us.  i’ll be turning 30 29 again.  and my sister just turned 35 (happy bday, mich).  my bro is back in school and on an amazing path.  silly monkey is going to school!  and it’ll soon mark the 2nd anniversary of losing our mommy. 

it’s all so bittersweet.

i never imagined this would be my life, let alone be my life at 30 29+.  at some point along the way, i had thought i would be destined to be some sort of high profile housewife with a bunch of kids and a mom that would stop over on a ridiculously regular basis to help me run around after those kids. 

but this is my life.

would i change this life?  i don’t think so.  anything that could be changed, already changed and anything that can’t be changed… well, couldn’t be changed even if i were to wish on a million stars.    and really, there is only one thing i would want to change, but given the fact that cancer sucks and cancer kills, it’s a lost cause wishing for that change. 

am i angry this is my life?  absolutely not.  i’ve learned so much about myself over the past year and half that i’ve completely fallen in love with just having the ability to learn those things.

do i think too much?  ugh.  yes!  and sometimes it’s so darn painful.

so this is my life…

a WONDERFUL silly monkey.  an AMAZING family.  some SUPER friends.  a COMFORTABLE home.  a BIG GIANT smile on my face.

i’ve recently met some great people.  some for me, some not for me.  some that fit into my life, some that haven’t.  but i’ve put myself back out there to live and learn and to move on to a place where i know i can live this life that’s meant for me. 

and i’m slowly learning to like to share.

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