SPENT HER WHOLE LIFE BEING GRADED ON THE SANCTITY OF PATIENCE AND A DUMB APPRECIATION, BUT THIS STORY NEEDS SOME MENDING AND BETTER HAPPY ENDING, ‘CAUSE I DON’T WANT THE NEXT BEST THING…

Posted on September 15, 2009

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it’s been a rough morning.  today was silly monkey’s first true day of preschool. 

last thursday was just practice. 
last thursday was a cake walk.
last thursday involved less tears…

it all started out well and good.  silly monkey was in good spirits after a yummy breakfast of eggs (and poptart, ugh).  when i picked him up from M’s, he was running around, all wound up and i thought… this is good.  we quickly got his shoes on and were out the door.

we pass daddy’s house.  we pass mandie’s house.  we go over the hill.  we pass the sheep… LOOK, MOMMY, THAT’S MY PRESCHOOL!!!

we parked.  we walked.  silly monkey grabbed my hand and held it tightly…

do you want to stand by the balloons so i can take your picture?
yes.
great.  go ahead.

he ran towards the balloons…

right here, mommy?
that’s perfect. show me a big smile.
cheeeeeese!!!

and then we went inside.  i signed him in.  he was calm.  i took him into the doorway to his classroom and his eye began to well with tears.  i held mine back…

i want to stay with you.
it’s ok, silly monkey, i’ll see you later.  you have fun today.  you’re at preschool!
no.  i want to stay with you. 
give me a kiss byebye.  i love you.  have a good day.

and then silence.  followed by wailing…

he must have cried and screamed my name for 10 minutes.  i stood around the corner so i could hear him, but out of his sight.  i couldn’t take it anymore and left in tears. 

my poor silly monkey has been through so many changes in his three short years on earth – losing his grandmother, the divorce, two moves, three babysitters… he needs the routine and stability that i know this school can provide for him and he needs the loving care and comfort i know mich can provide for him.  so win-win, right?  right?

when i arrived at work, i called the preschool to check on silly monkey.  the school director told me she had just peeked into his classroom – he was no longer crying and was quietly playing in the sensory tub.  she then assured me that all of this was completely normal and he would be fine.  

and i know he’ll be fine. 
but this is breaking my heart. 
will i be fine, too?

***************PRESCHOOL UPDATE***************
he’s fine.  he had raisins for snack and water in a “silver cup”.  he played with “kids” and outside.  according to silly monkey, he has “been at school two times now”.  yay for adaptability.  now if only i could get me some.

 

** post title = fairytale, sara bareilles

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