Posted on October 1, 2009


i once slipped down all of my front steps, on ice, landing on my knees at the sidewalk.  i was 7 months pregnant.

this was trumped by the time i fell belly first over the side of my bathtub,  while 8 months pregnant.  after my shoes slid around in some water that splashed on the floor while giving my dog a bath.  i ended up in the maternity ward, having contractions, for 9 hours.

and then there was the time i fell down the stairs, tripping on nothing but the carpet.  i took my infant with me.  he was fine.  i was skinned up and down both legs – knees to ankles.

so i’m a clutz.  no doubt about it.  i probably fall more going up the stairs than i do going down, but really, i’m an equal opportunity faller.

i’ve face planted in front of clients, at work, more times than i can count.  i’ve cut myself on knives more than i’d like to ever admit.  i trip over nothing,  even when i’m being extra careful.  and i’ve been known to hit my head on things while sneezing.

several years ago, i almost drowned in belize.  while snorkeling.  M pointed and laughed.

in june, i tripped over some bricks during a gallery hop and twisted my ankle.  i was saved by a bunch of hookah smoking dudes.

a few weeks ago, i burned my forearm pretty badly.  on the toaster.  after reaching for a pan of eggs.  my sister slathered it with silvadene.

just last week, i sliced my finger open while cutting up rice krispie treats.  silly monkey applied a betty boop band-aid.

last night, i nearly broke my elbow (is that possible?) when i hit it on the banister, carrying silly monkey down the stairs.  silly monkey then told me i should put medicine on it, but to be careful b/c it would wash off in the shower.

and today, after picking up my lunch, i lost my footing and fell off the curb.  in front of a busy deli.  in front of loads of people.  ending up with a very skinned and bloody knee (which now has my tights sticking to it).  i didn’t even look back.  i let out a “woah”, got up and kept walking.  i figured the bazillion people were pointing and laughing since none of them offered to help me up or asked if i was ok, so… whatever…

so i’m a clutz.

it adds to my character.

doesn’t it?

Posted in: useless stuff