MY FEVER BROKE…

Posted on October 9, 2009

1


there was a baby in my house. 

not a whiney brat of an adult that i refer to as a “baby”. 

or my “baby”, that i call my “baby”, even though he insists he is not a “baby”, as he is a currently a “big boy” and “almost a grown up” (not quite). 

not a “baby” in quotation marks, but a real baby.  an itty bitty, smells ridiculously yummy, which i’ve always found a bit weird, baby. 

i won’t go into the reasons why this baby was in my house, but the point is… there was a baby in my house. 

on most occasions, i don’t get to see her.  i work too late to get home in time to see her precious baby face.  but yesterday, being it was my early day at work, i did get to see her.  and i did get to talk baby-talk.  and i loved every moment. 

silly monkey, on the other hand, was not a happy monkey.  he threw the tantrum to end ALL tantrums.  and he ended up in a major time-out.  in his room.  with the door closed. 

after the baby went home and after he’d had a chance to calm down, silly monkey and i had a very heartfelt talk…

can you tell me why you are so upset?
b/c i don’t want  you to hold that baby.
tell me why.
b/c i just want you to hold me.  i am your baby.
you are my baby. and i love you more than anything in the whole world. but sometimes, you have to share me, just like i share you.
with daddy?
yes, just like i share you with daddy, sometimes you have to share me.
with baby girl?
yes. do you understand?
yes.
and is it ok to yell and scream?
no.
do you want to tell me something?
yes.  i’m sorry.  for being rude.  and not sharing you.
i love you, silly monkey.
i love you, too, mommy.  can you hold me now?
absolutely.

i guess i didn’t realize how much this mama’s boy really was a mama’s boy.  but, it makes sense.  i don’t think i’ve ever held a baby in front of him before (except for that one time when he was a baby himself and i’m pretty sure he wouldn’t remember that).  for that matter, i don’t think i’ve held another toddler in front of him, ever.  he’s so used to his time with me being his time, 100%, that it really does make sense, in his world anyway, that he wouldn’t even think to have to share me.  and even after trying to rationalize his behavior, i realized, it really is just like anything else, except this anything else was all about all of my attention.  and sometimes, he doesn’t get all of the attention.  especially when something else is occupying that attention. 

but i also realized something else… neither of us is ready to add to our family.  i think i missed the babyAdditionToTheFamily window by about two years.  and it probably won’t present itself for another two years.  and quite frankly, my one silly monkey is like having five silly monkeys, so i’m pretty much ok with that.  so, i’ve officially hung up my baby-fever hat.  maybe i’ll dig it back out one day, but for now… it’s me and silly monkey… both learning to share… each other… together.

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