Posted on October 15, 2009


i sat on an airplane.  in the middle seat.  with my feet on my jacket and my purse crammed into my poor dirty and slightly tattered coach tote.

i sat on an airplane next to some guy in a member’s only jacket, who very obviously giggled when i asked him if he was, in fact, “getting off” or “staying on for the connection”…

i sat on this plane after sitting on the floor of the airport for the past 2 1/2 hours, while i watched as my flight was pushed farther and farther into the day – delay after delay.  i sat on this plane after $50 worth of an airport dinner for four.  i sat on this plane with a tummy ache and a sad heart b/c i sat on this plane on my way to a funeral.

and then i was forced to smell some disgusting something or other that some disgusting someone or other decided to bring aboard and make me smell.  who does that?  who brings hot smelly food aboard a cramped airplane with no real air circulation? it was one thing when the airline served actual meals b/c the whole plane smelled the awful meals, but who in their right mind would open a styrofoam container packed with buffalo wings and bleu cheese aboard an airplane full of people just ready to pull out the little paper bag they expect you to catch your vomit in?

i guess the more important question is why was this bothering me so much?

but i couldn’t stop looking.  b/c it was seriously gross.  and i was THISclose to throwing her stinky take-out box down the aisle after chastising her for her inability to be courteous to the other eight billion passengers on this plane that had to smell her nasty food.  eat the damn peanuts lady!!  can’t you see that southwest is celebrating hispanic heritage month?  it says so right on the package!!  EAT THE PEANUTS!!  peanuts are yummy.  peanuts are quiet.  peanuts don’t smell… gross.

and i continued to stare.  and then i felt nauseous.  i really thought i might get sick.

lisianthusi sat on this airplane. on my way to a funeral.  smelling… smells.  crammed into the middle seat of my over-sold and over-cramped flight.  worrying about whether or not the flowers will arrive on time.  and if they’ll all be white, as i requested.  and if they’ll look tacky, or be simply un-presentable b/c they didn’t have any lisianthus and i was coerced into substituting with lilies and daisies and why do you show the arrangement in a bubble bowl if you don’t have a bubble bowl available?  and now i’m severely paranoid that there will be hundreds of sprigs of baby’s breath b/c i’m sure that they probably heard me say “lots & lots” of baby’s breath, when in fact i said “if you put baby’s breath in the vase, i will for sure throw it right back at you”, though i’m pretty sure i didn’t use those exact words and now i regret not using those exact words b/c omg, what if they load the vase with baby’s breath?

i am for certain lacking a great deal of sleep.  and this day and sitting on that stinky airplane has certainly not gotten me any closer to solving that problem.

Posted in: family stuff