CHILDREN BEGIN BY LOVING THEIR PARENTS; AFTER A TIME, THEY JUDGE THEM; RARELY, IF EVER, DO THEY FORGIVE THEM…

Posted on November 23, 2009

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there is no worse feeling, as a mother, than watching your child suffer.  be it an illness, physical pain or something regrettably emotional, it’s something i would trade needles in my eyes with, if i could…

a couple months ago, silly monkey had a “scan” done after he started doing something weird.  not haha wow, i have a weird child b/c haha i know i have a weird child, but this was… scary weird.  i won’t go into elaborate details b/c, well, it’s not important for the world to know, but what i will say is that it scared the crap out of this mama.

i had prepped silly monkey for this “scan”.  i told him all about the big machine and how it would take pictures of his tummy.  we discussed being brave and i promised to bring curious george to keep him company.  simple enough, right? 

um.  no. 

the “scan” itself was simple enough, but it required a three-year old to lay quietly and still, on his belly, for 30-60 minutes.  if he moved, they’d have to  start the test over again.  and being that that is a ridiculous request for a three-year old to comply with, they decided to sedate him, which included strapping him to a board, holding his head and arms down and shoving an IV up his tiny monkey arm.  all the while, silly monkey screamed and cried for me, like i’ve NEVER heard him scream and cry for me.  and b/c i could barely hold my tears back, i started reading to him… book after book after book. 

it felt like an eternity.  it was probably only 10 minutes. 

thankfully, all is well.  the “scan” came back negative, which is super positive so we won’t have to repeat all of this for a surgical procedure.  but part of me feels oh so guilty for putting him through all of that for… well, nothing.  of course, it’s best to rule out the bad, but ouch.

silly monkey bounced back pretty quickly and was his fine and dandy silly self by the next morning.  but, me?  it took me more than a few days to put myself back together.  like i said, needles in my eyes… absolutely.

 ** post title = oscar wilde, a woman of no importance

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