Posted on December 16, 2009


dear mom –

today was a strange day.  i felt a mental disconnect and had trouble focusing on just about everything.  and then i received an email from an old friend of yours, which brought about a flood of emotions, which created a stream of mascara stains, as i drove to work in tears, b/c today is your 60th birthday.

and i know these days will keep coming, but it doesn’t make it any easier to miss you or stop me from wishing we were together to celebrate.  and each year your special day comes, i learn more and more about how strong i am, but moreso about how weak i still seem to be.

and the more i think about this day, the more i feel the aches in my heart.  and the more i think about my pain, the more i can’t believe that today, you are exactly twice my age.  and the more i think about how old i am, the more i think about the fact that you weren’t given a chance to be old.  and the more i think about age, the more i think about how you were there to put candles on every one of my birthday cakes… for 27 years.

happy birthday, mom.

i miss you.
i love you.
i’m broken without you.


Posted in: family stuff