Posted on January 13, 2010


i was wrong…

hmmm.  so i didn’t melt.  no flesh is burning.  the world did not implode.  ok, seems we’re good.

i ran across this old post.  i got an “i can’t believe it’s THAT easy to take sides when NO side should be necessary to take” twing.  it made me feel like i had been lied to.  it annoyed me that i valued a relationship that was disposable.  at least on one side, anyway.

so needless to spell out, but i’ll briefly state…

i no longer have a relationship with that family.  why?  b/c i am apparently no longer part of their family.  why?  b/c someone made a choice to play the “loyalty” card, when in fact the only loyalty should have been made to silly monkey and his safety.  why?  b/c no one wants to walk on egg shells when it comes to certain people who disrupt other’s lives and make other’s miserable for the sake of their own misery.  why?  oh, who the hell knows…  perhaps just be they can.

i guess i held onto that “family” b/c i always felt like i was part of it.  i made the effort and they usually met me halfway.   in fact i made the effort for two, b/c lord knows i didn’t have a partner in anything.  i clued them in – they looked at me pitifully.  but they continued to look the other way, perhaps afraid of someone yelling and screaming that a choice had to be made, and although promising that no choice would ever be made, they made their choice.  quite frankly, i’m pretty certain they got the short end of that stick.

(funny enough, after proofreading this entry, i almost deleted it.  you know when you get that “who cares” feeling?  like you’re talking just to talk and nothing that comes out of your mouth makes you feel much of, well, anything?  that’s about how i just felt.  nothing.  i suppose it was no big loss.  who wants conditions on love and family?  raise your hand… no one?)

Posted in: family stuff