THE CHILD SUPPLIES THE POWER, BUT THE PARENTS HAVE TO DO THE STEERING…

Posted on April 21, 2010

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it’s amazing how parenthood changes a person.  for as long as i can remember, i have been selfish, materialistic,  impatient and moody.  i don’t necessarily look at those things as ALL negative.  for instance…

selfish?  yes. 
careless with other’s feelings?  no

materialistic?  yes. 
fumbly with money?  not so much

impatient?  yes. 
easily frustrated?  oh… well, yea.

moody?  ah… crap

[ok, so i exempt myself from those last.]

but when i say mommy-hood changed me, it REALLY changed me. 

am i still selfish? 
sure, but in a completely & totally different way.  where before i would be selfish with my belongings and feelings, now i am selfish with my attention and love.  and definitely my trust.  there are reasons to be selfish.  and i allow myself to be selfish for non-selfish reasons. 

am i still materialistic? 
that’s a toughy.  i do like things.  and i do like NICE things.  i would rather have one super nice handbag than 100 different chintzy purses.  i would rather traipse around town in a pair of gold, strappy jimmy choo’s, than a pair of discount store rejects.  the thing is, as a parent and in my not-quite-so-old (yet) age, i’ve realized that i don’t NEED these things.  and wanting and needing are oh so very different.  of course, i still WANT them, but the rationalization of mortgage vs. discretionary slams me straight back to the ground.  hard.  it might even blow a fuse in the kitchen. 

am i still impatient? 
of course!  but it’s a different kind of impatient.  i still hate to sit in traffic b/c 99% of the idiots on the road can’t simply keep the pace, instead rubbernecking at the latest fender bender.  i still hate being on hold when i clearly know that the moron that returns to the line will just tell me they can’t do the simple thing i’m asking.  i still hate waiting for vitamins i ordered, just yesterday, b/c my gah, why can’t they just be here right now?!  BUT… i don’t mind getting up a thousand times in the middle of the night b/c silly monkey can’t sleep OR explaining to him a million times that we don’t jump in the house OR putting him back on that time out step a billion times b/c he continues to jump in the house. 

am i still moody? 
a little.  maybe even a medium amount.  whereas i used to snap at anyone and everyone just for asking a question while i was mid-thought, now i just take a deep breath when i feel annoyance approaching and… wait for it… LISTEN.  it’s seems so simple, but it’s extraordinarily complex.  silly monkey certainly inherited his moodiness and super-powered frustration from me… but by learning to stop stressing about 100% of the uncontrollable things in life has taught me to teach him how to channel his stress.  his frustration.  his moodiness.  so together, when necessary, we share three deep breaths and move on. 

i mean, after all…

mommy-hood has CHANGED me, not made me into a different person.

 

** post title –  benjamin spock, dr. spock’s baby and child care

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Posted in: mommy stuff