Posted on May 16, 2010


i used to love roller coasters.  i would stand in line for hours on end just to brave a 10-second free fall drop.  everything seemed so carefree.  so thrilling.

given my love for the negative-g’s, i figured i would also love jet skis.  but when i hopped aboard one, with my mother in tow, back in the fall of 2003, i thought i was going to die.  i hated every moment, aside from the fact that we were jet skiing in the bahamas.

i haven’t been on a roller coaster since i was a teen.   and i haven’t been on a jet ski in over six years.  i suppose i hadn’t really thought about it much.  until today…

what i’ve given up in “edge of my seat” exciting moments, i have gained in happy inducing “wow” moments.  every single day, since the very first day i became a mother, have produced moments of pure excitement… pure thrill.

my sister tells me regularly that she just doesn’t get it.  how can i get so excited about a little scribble of blue and black crayon on the back of a scrap piece of paper?  how can i smile so willingly at a tower of mismatched legos?  how can i beam with pride at a garden full of flowers that i didn’t pick out?  how can i bust out singing & dance like minnie mouse?

i guess “how” is the easy part.  i intently watch, i give him all of my attention and i completely & happily overreact to even the smallest of feats.

it’s the “why” that’s a bit trickier to answer…

i love my silly monkey.  before he was even part of this world and just a jelly bean in my tummy, he became my everything.  my world.  my sole reason for happiness.

is that healthy?  of course not.  but if you’ve read this blog for at least the past week, you’ll know that silly monkey came at the most destitute moment in my life.  since the day silly monkey was born, he has needed me.  and in every way possible, i have needed him.  he saved me.  mostly from myself.

so, why?  aside from the fact that i want silly monkey to know that even his smallest feats are worthy of extra cheers?  b/c the “why” is for me.    to remind myself that even the smallest of MY feats are ALSO worthy of those cheers.