THE “L” WORD…

Posted on August 25, 2010

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i am officially a soccer mom.  and “team mom” to boot!  i’m equal parts excited and scared.  excited b/c this is something new for silly monkey and scared b/c… well, crap… what if he doesn’t like it?  or kicks someone?  or throws a fit b/c he “losed”?

we have issues with winning & losing.  he has to win.  and if he loses, he’ll do one of two things:

1.  throw a piece of the game at you and exclaim “i wanted to win.  i’m not playing with you anymore.”

OR

2.  jump up quickly and exclaim, “i winned”.  when he is corrected, he will then throw a piece of the game at you and exclaim “i wanted to win.  i’m not playing with you anymore.”

we’ve had several talks about winning and losing.  specifically when it comes to games.  i even catch myself saying things my mom did:  “it’s not about winning or losing, it’s about having fun.”  i’ve defined “be a good sport”, but to a 4-year old, OH FRIGGIN’ BLAH… losing sucks.  period.

so is it really?  just about having fun?  does it really not matter if you lose?  and if not, then why does it hurt so much to be called a “loser”?

i frequently ponder these questions – usually during a fit of neurotic rage b/c i just CAN NOT KNOCK OVER THOSE STUPID GREEN PIGS WITH MY AWESOMELY ANGRY BIRDS DAMMIT!!!  (stupid green pigs and their hard hats.) b/c it is just a game, a stupid addicting game that keeps me up all night… oh why can’t i knock those stupid green pigs over?!

anyway, where was i?  ah, yes…

lose:  luz [looz] verb (lost, los·ing)

1. to come to be without (something in one’s possession or care), through accident, theft, etc., so that there is little or no prospect of recovery
2. to fail inadvertently to retain (something) in such a way that it cannot be immediately recovered
3. to suffer the deprivation of
4. to be bereaved of by death
5. to fail to keep, preserve, or maintain
6. to give up; forfeit the possession of
7. to bring to destruction or ruin (usually used passively
8. to condemn to hell; damn.
9. to use to no purpose; waste
10. to fail to have, get, catch, etc.; miss
11. to be defeated
12. to let (oneself) go astray, miss the way, etc
13. to fail to preserve the life of
14. to fail to be delivered of

in other words…

be careless, be impoverished, be reduced, become poorer, bereave, capitulate, consume, default, deplete, disinherit, displace, dispossess, dissipate, divest, drain, drop, exhaust, expend, fail, fail to keep, fall short, forfeit, forget, give up, lavish, misplace, miss, misspend, oust, pass up, relinquish, rob, sacrifice, squander, suffer, suffer loss, surrender, use up, waste, yield

now where in there does it say, “hey!  no harm, no foul… sorry about your job/house/limb/mind – but,  fun was the name of the game, eh?”

granted, i may have taken this a bit far with relation to a 4-year old and soccer games.  it wasn’t really my intention to compare “life” to “play”. i fully understand the difference between trivial and meaningful.  i am painfully aware that there is a spectrum on context.  i totally get that.  but, being the semi-all or nothing kind of gal, i kind of sort of wonder… is it necessary for us, ourselves, to accept that it is ok to be careless?  fail?  fall short?  forget?  relinquish?  squander?  etc?  should we always “hope for the best, prepare for the worst?”  do we really need to set ourselves up, just in case we fail?  at work?  in love?  in life?  do we all need a… cushion?

hmmmm.

have i mentioned how excited i am for silly monkey to start soccer?!

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