DECIMUS SECUI: WHY I KINDA SORTA NEED A MAN. BUT NOT REALLY. MAYBE…

Posted on May 23, 2011

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alternate post title #1 = LOOK!  LOOK!  I BROKE OUT MY COLLEGE LATIN!

alternate post title #2 = IF IT WASN’T COMPLETELY OBVIOUS, I AM CURRENTLY OBSESSED WITH ADELE…

today, a friend (who will heretofore be referred to as “the evil one”) sent me a random message telling me, in no uncertain terms, that if i didn’t “collect” a new boyfriend, she was going to set me up with her brother.  the one that accidentally ran over his last girlfriend’s cat (forced edit and i quote: “it wasn’t the whole cat.  it was just the tail.  and he didn’t kill it.  just almost.  now go change that on your blog before he gets pissed.”  so there.  happy now?!)  the one that has had four jobs in the past year.  the one that makes references to us napping together… at his parent’s house… b/c that’s where he lives!!  yuck!  my response to her was a tirade of offense and ewww!  OMgosh.  i’m single, dammit, not desperate!

oh, d, you’re just scared.
of your brother?!  damn straight, i’m scared of your brother!!  he kills things!
no, no.  of being with someone.  letting your guard down.  why can’t you let someone take care of you for once?
b/c i can take care of myself. 
oh please, what woman doesn’t want a prince charming  to ride off into the sunset with?
what does that have to do with someone taking care of me?  i’m pretty sure mr. prince charming would come home from his castle duties, plop down on the couch and ask this princess “what’s for dinner?”. 
touche.  but you keep saying you’re “too pretty to work”, i think you’re “too pretty to be single”.
geez, i don’t whether that’s a compliment or an insult.  i say it as a joke!  you make it sound like i have nothing going for me besides my face. 
oh, i do not.  you also have your big booty!!!
we’re done here. 
expect a text from jake.
blah.

 grrr.  i am not scared…

i don’t know why i’m scared
i’ve been here before
every feeling, every word
i’ve imagined it all
you’ll never know if you never try
to forget your past and simply be mine

                    one and only.  ~ adele.

i am brave.  and i don’t need a man to help me stand on my own…

next time i’ll be braver
i’ll be my own savior
when the thunder calls for me
next time i’ll be braver
i’ll be my own savior
standing on my own two feet

                  turning tables.  ~ adele.

but she does have a good point.

i do want THAT.  the fairy tale.  the prince charming.  the castle & the white horse.  the sweep me off my feet and take care of me, you prettyPRETTYpretty man!  THAT i want.   but THAT is not realistic.

what IS realistic is what i don’t want.  and what i don’t want is complicated.  what i don’t want is domination of occupancy in my “me” time bubble.  what i don’t want is to be pressured into having to be part of a couple b/c OMgosh being single = desperate = lonely spinster for.ev.er!  what i don’t want is my friends feeling like they HAVE to set me up with any schmuck on the street b/c heaven forbid i spend a little more time taking MY time to find that very special someone who i can tolerate for more than a few lousy dates.  what i don’t want is to settle on that one man who can’t provide his own consistency, let alone part with some for me.

and what i REALLY don’t want is to have to defend ANY of that.

b/c i won’t.

(see part one here)
(see part two here)
(see part three here)
(see part four here)
(see part five here)
(see part six here)
(see part seven here)
(see part eight here)
(see part nine here)

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