Posted on January 29, 2010


silly monkey and i have been starved for some one-on-one time, or as he likes to call it… “just the two of us”. 

the weather has been super cold, so we can’t play outside for longer than a few before we start to shiver & shake and wimp out and run back inside.  i hesitate to take him places like chuck e cheese’s b/c ewww gross food and too many people.  and movies are hit or miss – if he enjoys it, he’s great and if he doesn’t, he wants to talk. 

so last night, we opted for an ice cream date where we talked and talked over cotton candy ice cream sundaes (with candy eyes), from graeters. 

the topics of conversation ranged from curious george being the “third wheel” to him becoming a big brother.  mostly he talked about things he wanted (ie. charlie the train, which by the way is $26, no thank you), but the biggies were:

*  he likes school.  he said he sometimes doesn’t like to wake up to go to school b/c it’s still dark outside.  he also said he is ready for “regular school“, to which i responded… “well, I’M not ready for you to go to regular school“.

*  he’s not sold on the idea of being a big brother.  mainly b/c he “hates” (yes, HATES) babies.  i told him it’ll be exciting and he’ll get to show his baby brother all sorts of cool things, like drawing and jumping and thomas the train…  he quickly retorted “no, i am not going to share with him“.  we then had this exchange, which is identical to one we had a few days ago:

mommy, are you having a baby?
so it’s just the two of us?
sure is. 
ok.  i like that.

i’m not sure that he’s being properly prepped for this new baby, especially with the oodles of changes he’s had to experience over the past few years.  i’m sure  he’ll be fine b/c kids adapt, they have no choice, but if it were me and my situation (although it wouldn’t be my situation b/c i’m not that… nevermind), he would be fully involved in all aspects.  he would be involved with picking things out, appointments, etc.  and how do i know this probably isn’t taking place?  by this:

mommy, daddy has a new high chair and a baby gate.  i don’t need a high chair.  and i don’t need a gate.  i am a big boy.  i use the big table and a big chair. 

he went on a lengthy tangent about sharing and not sharing and again, hating babies, so i’m going to out on a very short limb and assume… this is not easy for him and will certainly get lotsLOTSlots more difficult.  i suppose it’s why most responsible people evaluate their current situations before they make HUGE decisions to change things they can very easily prevent.  so it’s up to me to continue to do what i’ve always done and be there to make sure silly monkey is super loved and has lotsLOTSlots of attention.

i can’t say it’s all bad, though.  at times he does talk a little about it and that’s great!  i’ve done what i can to help him understand what happens when a new baby joins a family.  if he brings it up, we talk about it.  if he doesn’t, it’s not really a topic high on my list as dinner conversation.  this is mainly b/c i’m just not 100% certain as to how i should be answering his questions.  for instance:

mommy, i just want 2 brothers.
oh yea?
and i want them to look just like me.  with brown eyes.  and brown hair.  and curls.  and eyes like yours.  and mine.  and grandma’s nose.

i sat stumped for a few moments, trying to figure out how to answer this for a three-year-old and finally said…

i’m sure your brother will look like you b/c he will have the same daddy, but he won’t have mommy’s eyes or grandma’s nose.
well… b/c your baby brother has a different mommy.
but, i want him to have you as a mommy.

he cut the conversation short by pouring his water into his ice cream.  i took that as completion of dessert.  but it still had me wondering how to handle these conversations.  anyone have a book recommendation?

as we were leaving graeters, an older gentleman walked up to silly monkey and did the i can take my finger off thing.  the look on silly monkey’s face was priceless.  he thought it was the coolest thing in the world.   i figured this was a great time to re-discuss  strangers and i gave him the whole spiel about not talking to them and on and on. 

you don’t talk to strangers, silly monkey.  they can be dangerous.
will they hurt me?
i will not talk to strangers b/c maybe they will hurt me.  and they mess up my hair. 

he decided to dictate the rest of the night, which included snuggling, watching a movie and an idea that made me laugh, pretty loudly, out loud…

let’s stay up all night and when the sun comes up, we can go to sleep. 

let’s just say that idea didn’t make it into reality.

so date night was a complete success.  of course,  i told him “stop it” and “sit down” quite a few times, but all in all, it really was one of the best dates i’ve ever had.