Posted on June 14, 2011


i’m a mom.

first and foremost.  last and… rearmost (??  had to google that one.  and it sounds… dirty.)

this is why i request teenagers shut down the shitty language while my five-year-old plays 10 feet away.  and ask that they throw their football on the other side of the pool so it doesn’t continue to smack my child in the side of the head and splash chlorinated water in his beautiful, big, brown eyes.  i suppose i’ve hit the age where a teenager KNOWS that i’m not joking when i suggest they zip the lip.  or move away.  my requests are usually met with “yes, ma’am” by those that actually respect their elders.  (OMG.  i’m an elder.)  but on the occasion that one such teenage girl cannot shut down her stinky mouth, i won’t hesitate to threaten with…


(she stopped, by the way.  and by “stopped”, i mean she went home.)

(and now i’m the neighborhood bitch that won’t let teenagers swear in earshot of small children.  the audacity of me being appropriate if i want my kid to see/hear major cussing, i’d let him surf the interwebs.  and read my blog!!  or something…

Posted in: mommy stuff